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Children of the Resolution - a New Year in Tofino

by Beni Spieler, Tofino

the letter 'T'The sweet lung-burning chill of change is lingering in the air.

You know what that means right? Yes, exactly. You have to buy a new calendar. But could you perhaps elaborate?
Bravo! It's a New Year!

I knew you knew what I was talking about.

We survived Christmas and its diabolical merriment. We survived Boxing Day, and its deviousness for being the day after Christmas, and therefore ruining any chances of actually having a decent birthday party! You know who you are.

We survived the day after Boxing Day which is again the day after Christmas and therefore horrible for many reasons involving birthdays and a general longing for more Christmas morning that we have to wait another year for.

So it comes as no surprise that I thrust my fist into the air when I woke up this late afternoon and proudly say "Oh god my head hurts, but its great to still be alive!"

Sadly my bank account isn't, due to all the holiday shopping and what not, but I'll get over the loss.

So New Years Eve has come and gone, but the smell of champagne still clings to our clothing as we watch the firework smog float out over the harbour and into the clouds, mingling with possible showers and electrical currents. Creating a nice a foggy ambience that we can all appreciate on this brand new day in the brand new year.

To those who woke up outside in unusual circumstances and slowly, oh so slowly, wandered home; I salute you.
For those who found themselves beside an interesting new face, or even a comforting familiar one, when they arose this day: I'm proud of ye!

And for those who woke up feeling really spry this morning and decided to bounce into town with a song in their step for a hearty breakfast and maybe a quick nip into the cafe for a coffee, try not to get strangled by the disgruntled people behind you. I'm sure you understand.

Hangovers pending and our tradition of broken self-promises still intact, we must sally-forth and face this brave kind-of-new world with determination and relaxed shoulders.

I imagine most of us can agree that New Years resolutions are almost becoming an ongoing gag in our year-to-year routine.
Quit smoking. Quit drinking. Start that diet. Finally fix the oven. Exercise more. Stop playing with matches. Learn to play an instrument. Stop sending our siblings presents we know they don't want for their birthdays, especially when they're halfway around the planet.

Stop this. Start that. End these. Finish those. Enjoy a little less of this and partake in a little more of those.

But why do we bother? Why, oh why? Oh Thor! Oh Zeus! Oh Crystal Dragon Jesus and Flying Spaghetti Monster why should I stop those good-bad funny happy laughable habits when they seem to put a smile on my face?

I bet Buddha never had to stop eating cake because of a diet while on his road to enlightenment, why should I?

Mark Twain once said "I deal with temptation by yielding to it."
I don't think that's the best method, but its pretty fun.

I've decided its not about actually making the change, its simply showing an interest in them that counts. Like waving politely to that guy you see around all the time but have never actually bothered talking to. You get along, you may even know each other by name somehow, but you probably won't actually hang out anytime soon. Doesn't mean you shouldn't be friendly and maintain good relations, albeit distant.

Acknowledge your resolutions and give them a nod once in awhile, they'll appreciate it to be sure, or at the very least they won't call you up one day and ask why you stopped waving...
Of course some others do feel differently, they fight the good fight and tap their foot anxiously whenever someone lights a cigarette by them. Die a little inside whenever a cheeseburger is eaten at their table. Weep when they see a nice... beautiful... chocolate cake covered in icing and smothered with whipped cream topped off with some powdered icing and caramel sau-... oh god I'm getting weak in the knees.

I think you get the picture. I'm lazy and I love eating what I want, when I want. And I'm comfortable with that.

Besides, everyone knows the best time for change is in spring... duh!

Happy New Year everyone! And good luck to you -- children of the resolution!


Living in youthful smugness in the diaspora, born-again pastafarian Beni still doesn't eat his vegetables...


Tofino Time Magazine January 2009


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Tofino expatriot and born again Pastafarian Beni Spieler invites you to ignore the call for new years resolutions. Now is not the time for change - that's what spring is for.

tofino time january 2009
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