Desperately Seeking Seafood Intertidal Personals Contest Results

by the Raincoast Education Society, Tofino

Thanks to all those who participated in our last contest during the Oyster Festival, the entries were priceless. Too many to list, here are a few to lighten up your day:

Stubborn bull-kelp still looking for weed-friendly mate to join me in a cuddle-cluster kelp bed. Willing to wrap my whips around you if your stalk is strong enough to handle me and my well-endowed bulb. Let's see if we can attach ourselves to the same rock and discover true bliss.
Niki Westman, Vancouver

Currently between shells, lonely crustacean seeks same for moonlight scavenging, long beach scuttles and hot times in eelgrass beds. If you've got the pheromones I've got the cuddles. Come out from under your rock!
Greg Blanchette, Ucluelet

Saw you on the ebb one sunny Saturday. Embarrassed by my soft shell, I let you drift away on the flood. Pinching myself for lost opportunity. I am now hard and ready to meet you. Claude.
Don Hall & Arlene Tompkins, Qualicum Beach

Male blue mussel in active current seeking female with means of relocating. Must have strong byssus threads, and ravenous appetite. About myself: Pro-choice (free-spawning or non); Editor of poetry anthology "Slack Tide"; Traveled extensively in larval stage; Currently PSP-free; Founder of "Fair Trade Bivalve Pearl Producers Society"; Weakness for detrital bacteria; Enjoy pushing intertidal limits. Desiccation tolerance an asset.
Dan Harrison, Victoria BC

Gorgeous geoduck seeking well-endowed man-duck who lives on the "edge" and digs sandy beaches. No stuck-in-the-muds please.
Bill Heath, Courtenay BC

Bisexual bivalve seeking a cultured individual for seedy fun and frolic. Interested in hanging with you at my cool intertidal flat. Can swing either way -- your sex or mine. RSVP ASAP.
SP, Tofino

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